Long-Lost

Heiya, I'm back after MIA for such a long time.

i couldn't remember exactly how long i quit blogging life.

Now i'm back just because....... HIAK HIAK HIAK! no reason! =P

So skip the MIA and how's my life going bla bla bla... I'm kinda doing great.

Just when u're having good life, somebody is trying to make ur life miserable, like I'm the one deserve to be death.

Keep telling urself, don't let ur past influences u to move on. But somehow, people loves to talking it again and again like never ending. Makes u feel the bunch of guilt again and back to sadness.

Whatever! Why do i care?! Everyone makes mistakes and they change.

P/s:nobody ask u back! So please, grow up!

I will be back soon. =)

xoxo

Ysan

The other face of Yan Shan

I'm shocked when i look at the mirror after the make up. so does all my friends.

For me, this make up is over-thick already.

But the stylist said this is just a simple make up only, not even thick.

Gosh, i wonder how she simplify 'thick' in her dictionary.

But overall, attend this kind of dinner, at 4-star's hotel, this is just all right.

I love every changes of me.

The plain, the thick, the sexy Yan Shan =='''

Tee Hee! =D

*************

其实，我从来都不懂什么叫幸福。

以前，只要有人疼，有人当我是宝，陪我走一天的街，

陪我睡一个悠闲的午觉，

我就幸福得要死。

我不懂什么叫要求，我只要幸福的爱情。
不要批评我，爱情对我而言，比什么都重要。

不知几时开始，我的爱情似乎放假了好久。

没有了怦然，只有平淡

 面对爱情，我累了，也变懒了

我很怀疑，它到底是不是一直以来我最重视的东西。

有时，他会把我搞疯，会自私自傲得让我生气。

会想，这段感情到底值不值得继续下去

所有的东西，因为在一起久了，变得习惯，也知道彼此的脾气，

也好像忘记了诺言。

是假装忘记还是真的忘记也懒得去计较，生气。

有时，他并不是男朋友，像其他做朋友的一样，会讽刺你然后故意讨好你。

会唱米奇鼠的歌来讽刺我的顺风耳

出来吃饭竟然不带钱，吃完了说：这餐你请。

又或者，我的坐姿很粗鲁，他会说，虽然我从来没当你是女的，

可是你可以不要一上车就脚大大吗？可以有淑女的样子吗？

我不懂他是不是我要的那种男朋友，可是偶而当下朋友也不错。






p/s: 突然，我觉得自己很幸福❤

如果我们是真的，那你今天就不会属于我们的回忆变成你和其他人的回忆。恶梦，我就把它当作一场恶梦。我不会再让人这么对我。

因为，我比任何人来得骄傲。

不属于我的，我不会要。
伤害过我的，我会记住，并且到最后会选择原谅
被我伤害的，我会道歉，并且会内疚一辈子


我已经注定不能得到快乐，也不代表你可以这么做。

我以为你是这个世界上懂我的人，就算有什么事，你都会懂我为甚么会这么做。。
 原来我错了 。

我比任何人更不了解你。

You are apple of my eye

那些年，我们一起追的女孩

刚刚去看了这一部电影，原以为是一部很闷很枯燥的电影，哪知笑着笑着，

不知不觉眼泪突然掉了下来，

像水龙头一样，停不下来

太多太多美好的过往，一瞬间飞到脑海里

那些在教室的回忆，真的很无聊，很幼稚，

今天，跟看电影的那一班人一样，

就像N 年前，当遇到同学做出夸张的事情的时候，

就会全班一起拍掌，捧腹大笑一番

几时开始，爱笑的我，变得严肃了，

当无聊的时候，看回以前写给朋友的留言，

我才发现，原来我是那么的幽默，那么的会惹朋友开心。

到底几时变了？我变懒了，变得不爱去祝福人家生日快乐，变得好像愤世似的，

  一丁点事情就介意得不得了，非得拿出来说不可

不，我并不是那种人，

我可以是一个更好，更成长的人。

每一天都在提醒自己，不可以被一些人给同化了，

不能成为不懂装懂， 自以为中心的人，

身边的确有太多这样的人了，又是最不能交心的朋友

 时时刻刻反省自己很重要

ps:我也好喜欢那些年的我。

晚安

Marriage

Everyone is talking about marriage around me.

Months ago, my big cousin, older 2 years old than me, is getting married because he wanted to settle down and building a family with his wife and the new born baby boy. Being grow up and become a father.

2 days before, 11/11/11, was a very special registration date for the couple which my another cousin is also the one of them.

 Not because they are having a baby, just because they love each other so much until cousin can't wait to marry her. So now, there's one more family member added in this big family. You can imagine how big is my family if you know me enough. Just too big until i forget their age.

I love my family. Although there's many argument, fighting between the grow up's and the child.

We are the child. And we actually fighting for a toy since we were still a baby.

We laugh at each other when they bringing their partner to my grandparent. call them shame shame tak malu.

But the funny part is, when we were little, we actually take bath together, playing bubbles by wasting many many of shampoo secretly inside the toilet. We don't know the what is the shame, we just know how to make fun without the technology nowadays.

But fortunately, went through the all the issues among the grow upss and the toysss, we still close. Closer than our own siblings. Cousin is always the one who know how crazy our parent is, always understand why we behave like an immature child when facing our own parent, always know when is our temper going to be burst. That's why we take care of each other.

We grow up together with all the fighting and crying, seeing them dating until break up, until they found the right one and then get marry. I may have a few nephew asking for sweets from me after a few years later.

hahahha, this is awesome. =DD

Just happy being a part of Lew's family.

I plan to sleep early every night. But it never work.  And i regretted every morning that i need to force myself to wake up and go to the place i don't like to go.

How great it would be if there's no sickness, no death, no separation in this world.

How great that we can actually buy time and go back to the place that we belong with.

How great there's a love that never fade in this world.

But, this is life. There's sickness, death, cruelness everywhere in this world, afraid that this is balance of nature of human being and we are impossible to break this balance as a human being actually has their limitation.

No time could be buy as we already wasted it, been through it.

We never know when is our death. Ironic part is, some of the people even pretend to don't know each other since they being apart for some issues. How sad is that huh?

And they started to call themselves noob enough when they are getting old and they wish to meet each other again, put down those stupid pride and recall all the stuff they missed. 

I hate to say that love is important for me, for everyone. it just covers whole of me.

I hate to admit there's no love in couple can be last -longer. I hope i can get a relationship that never breaks up.

Never has to break up for those ridiculous reason, never break up for what people had said, just first and the only one relationship for whole life.

How beautiful if we can have our own dream, building family together, sitting at the balcony enjoy the sunset,

enjoy the life materiality.  This is just too perfect until i not dare to dream about it.

Let's hope this is not just about dream.

Good night.

Ps: I miss u every night. And i missed you already. Can we still can say hi to each other?

Pss: Since when we've change? Since when I become a person that make you feel awful? And since when you become a person that i never want to get along with? Imissyoutoobff.

 

The end of October

Heiya, its sound crazy but today i'm gonna to post something like movie or drama stuff.

Have our history movie like 1911. Pretty passionate. But i didn't concentrate to it due to so many calls was coming that night.

The 100th movie of Jackie Chan, why not have a try?

Gossip Girl.

Already addicted to it since i was at Diploma. Learn a lot from this drama actually.

Especially English. =D

Between, i don't know why. In reality, It has make u to be a stronger person on many part of human being.

Vampire Diaries! My favourite drama ever so far.

After watched Twilight over repeat and repeat, Vampire diaries is quite interesting than Twilight.

I used to be a Twilight fans, and i still am.

Just Twilight is somehow boring! sorry for my honesty!

yup. Real Steel.

I believe many people are highly recommend on this.

 This is super! nicer than Transformer 3 though!

**********************

Okie, my body condition is getting worst when back from Cameron highland.

I do not know its about tension or what, sometimes, i wish to kill myself.

Just a second of thought, i don't have enough courage to do such thing, don't worry.

Its just frustrated that u wish to go outside, plan to have a good dinner with ur darling, and u only can wear super tick sweater. Ironic part is even the place is indoor. And this month i went for doctor twice already

Pathetic isn't it?=(

It's time head to bed and have my sweet dream. Hope tomorrow will be a better day. =)

The end.